Snow on plum blossoms, an auspicious omen

Plum Blossoms in the winter snow, an auspicious Chinese omen.  Have you ever seen flowers bloom in the winter?  I must admit this is a first for me.  These lovely blooms I photographed today on campus after the snowfall.  In China this is one of the “Four Gentlemen”  or one of the four plants that represent the four seasons in Chinese tradition ink wash art.  The plum blossom represents winter, the orchid for spring, the chrysanthemum  for autumn, and the bamboo for summer.

I photographed bamboo from Tonglu and chrysanthemums from a traditional Chinese ink painting a 16 year old student created.  Now I need to find orchids!  My spring quest!  I am so ready for spring.  Today was the end of our fall semester.  What is spring festival?  I am about to find out.

Chinese Medicine or was that marijuana I smell?

My experience with Chinese Medicine has been a humorous encounter!

As an American our standards are just entirely different than the Chinese.  The traditional basic Chinese customs are fresh air is a must, even if it is below freezing.  One should open a window and let the cool air in.  Hot water is drank all the time, no ice and no cold water.  One must wear many layers of clothes and jackets pretty much all the time.  Of course if you are into the “fresh air belief” your home will be as cold as it is outside, therefore  jackets are worn in the house.  Surgical masks are worn by a majority of the people on the street.  Is it a fashion statement or is it to stay well?  I just bought one to keep my nose warm when I bike in 23 degree weather.  Mine has words on it– “Not Paranoid!”  One is allowed to cough, hock up a loogie and spit it on the street, or in your hand and then flick it on the road. One must always watch where one walks.  Kleenex tissues, impossible to find in the store are not used by the Chinese.  I have pockets full.

My wonderful Chinese neighbor brought me some throat lozenges to help my sore throat.  They are pink, round and chalky.  I tried one of these “Watermelon Frost” tablets as it was titled in English.  As fast as it went in my month, hit my tongue I expelled it!  The taste was that of Lysol!  I don’t want to disinfect my month but soothe it.  Last week I walked into our library to smell marijuana wafting throughout the room.  I saw the librarian holding a white cigar lit stick, in front of the heater letting the blowing air dissipate the smoke.  I asked, “What in the world are you doing with a huge doobie?”   She said it was Chinese Medicine to ward off the flu virus we all have.  I have news for you it may not get rid of the flu, but no one will care in an hour or so.  Someone needs to tell me, is hemp legal here?

What is the meaning of life?

Ever really wonder what the meaning of life is?  Why was I put here in the first place?  Where did I come from?  What is the purpose in my life?  Maybe I was hatched in a nest?  Oops, that is a thought a chicken has.  For that matter can chickens think?  And what really came first the chicken or that darn egg?

In reality,  the reason we are here revolves around our beliefs or dogmas.  It could be our belief in God, our Christ-self, the universal consciousness, our Buddha nature, a supreme being or deity, maybe a supernatural being or simply a creator.  We are taught about a higher being by our parents through our upbringing.  We each have different beliefs.  Ever get in a discussion about God with someone who thinks differently?  Ding-dong  Jehovah Witness calling!  Quite a contest to see who has the better God, isn’t it?

During the past two weeks, while I was sick, I realized how very alone I am.  Being ill puts a whole new perspective on the meaning of life.  When I was in bed for days I began to understand true aloneness.  No one was here to help me, care for me, or just chat with me.  It was just me and myself.  I began to ponder how did I get to China.  Last year at this time I was in Allen, Texas teaching school, living by myself, and wondering what had happened to my life.   It was like a volcano had erupted in my life and just devastated every part of my daily living.  What could I do to stop the continuous magma flow?  I came to China to remove all the horrific events from my mind.  Did it work?  Yes, I would say I was just picked up from one side of the earth and sat on the other side.  In China nothing is the same and everything must be thought out completely.  The process of living here has kept my mind busy and in a way it plugged up my volcano, like a wine cork in a bottle.   Moving here stripped me of all my material possessions and the people in my life.  I now must look at myself and really see who I am.

I think about my “issues” of caring for people and why I throw myself into obsessive relationships with men, teaching long hours, and multi-tasking  where I need to be in control and stay so busy.  My friend Patti told me the time here with my aloneness would make me look at me.  As if removing all the extraneous stuff from my periphery and viewing the raw me.  It  is the time and the place to find out who I am.

The emerging of the real Susan is coming to light.  Always a kind person and one who would do everything for you, she is one not  in-charge of everyone’s everything, anymore!  Still generous, she now allows others to pay her way, pick up things for her and take care of her without always doing it herself.  She listens to advice from friends when things get difficult and actually uses their advice.  She has even been known to write it down and save the wisdom for later.  She still has a tendency to want to be first, something she has always done, but now she will stand back and let someone answer first, just listen and follow behind.  It is a new sensation.  A different, sometimes uncomfortable feeling.   It is like changing your karma, making a different path, trying to correct a crazy wrong that always seemed right.  She likes the new sweet soul shining through a delicate soft gossamer aura.

Life works if you let it.  May you in your aloneness see who you really are.   Above all, may you love that sweet breath of  life the great creator blew into your being.  Yes, you wonderful you.

Dumpling making

In the last couple of weeks I visited the homes of two families and they shared their dumpling making precess with me.  My Pre-IB student Moon invited me to her home, where her mom showed me how to create them.  A rather easy process, you start with round or square wonton wrappers and a combination of your favorite diced meats and vegetables for the filling.  Since I am vegetarian my hostess made a special batch with chopped spinach, garlic, bamboo and other tasty ingredients.  The meat version has the same veggies but included pork.  We were allowed to create our dumplings by spooning a dallap on the wonton, sealing the edge with water, and pinching or pleating the edges  with our fingers.  You would line up the half moon shaped crescents until enough were ready to boil or steam.  Moon’s mom boiled them about ten minutes.  You eat them with soy sauce or a chili sauce.  If you have left overs you can pan fry them in the morning for breakfast.

Moon and my other art student Karen in front of a portrait of Moon as a child.

At my colleague Stephen’s home his mom also prepared dumplings and a wonderful Mushroom soup, the best I have ever had.  It had a combination of four different types of mushrooms chopped up with garlic and simmered into a nice rich soup broth.

Steven’s mom          Steven and Paula     Isabella, Steven, his girlfriend, niece and mom

I got the flu for New Years and experienced socialized medicine

What a New Years week, I believe I have the flu.  Started feeling bad on New Years eve and ended up in the hospital four days later.  Have you been so sick that going to the hospital actually made you feel relieved?

I was glad Alice took me by cab to the Nanjing Drum Tower Hospital.  We stood in a line outside the hospital building to get an entrance ID card.  It’s a cold little room with plastic flaps for doors, everyone bundled up and in compressed lines waiting on women in surgical masks to make your card.  I was handed a card with my name on it: 苏珊 Yes those 2 Chinese characters say Susan, no last name needed.   Cost 1 yuan.  Then we queued up to get an appointment with the doctor.  Must have been 10 lines of people in the hospital foyer.  When I walked in, could have sworn it was a train station, people in hats, scarfs, gloves and jackets lined up to pay on one side and the other side for appointments.  Not very warm in here, someone needs to turn the heat on.

We are sent to the third floor, a large lobby which Alice bypasses.  She walks directly  into one of the many rooms skirting the lobby.  The one she picks has three white coated doctors who are examining people at computer station desks.  We stood behind a sick elderly man with his concerned son and mom.  They were trying to get him admitted, but no rooms.  My turn I plopped on the official old wooden examining stool.  I was asked some questions by a lady doctor in a white trench coat and a pale blue surgical mask.  Alice translated.  Now I need to have my temperature taken.  We walked back to the third floor lobby, another train station waiting room, cold bench like seats and many sick people.  The nurse in her dingy white more of a dull grey nurse uniform and old fashioned white hat pinned to her head handed me a thermometer which I was to return to her in three minutes.  While Alice was tending to me and ran to get a book to record my medical information I realized these nurses had the same kind of nursing hats my mom wore in the 1960’s .  My mom always told me if the hats don’t have a black strip then they aren’t registered nurses.  No one had a black strip so what kind of nurses are these?

No temperature the unregistered nurse said, back to the lady doctor we go.  Waiting behind another sick person on the wooden stool, I notice how dingy this place is.  It looks like Cox Junior High School, where I went to middle school, some forty years ago, a building as old as Methuselah, back then.  I can still smell the old stairwells, dank with bathroom odor.   I sit down and this time she wants to listen to my heart, no need to take off two sweaters with twenty people in the room, just listen right through the woolen garments.  Next she wants to look down my throat but the light is bad, she walks  behind me and motions for me to swizzle around.  I do, to see a half a dozen sick Chinese people standing and looking at me.  I open my mouth, she compresses my tongue with a stick, she and the Chinese look down my throat!  Quite an experience, one burned into the recesses of my mind.

Now we need blood, off to another floor, another queue, another  form and pay three yuan for a blood test.  Take a number and then wait for one of ten lines to have blood removed.  My number is flashing atop of a window with a person underneath who draws blood.  My arm is placed on a pile of  disposable papers, tourniquet tightened, needle the size of a hose and I get a stick.  I forgot to tell someone, I pass out at the site of blood.  “Turn my head, turn my head!,” I say to myself.  All done, compress firmly with two Qtips and orange yellow substance on my arm. What happened to tiny needles and alcohol?   We sit in one of many cold metal chairs awaiting the results which will be retrieved  from the computerized ATM-like machine using my ID card in twenty minutes.  I am pondering the floor about now, and thinking when was the last time this was mopped?  Do they know what disinfectant is?  The patterns are nice on the tiles and other ridiculous mind roaming thoughts.   Suddenly Alice is up and getting the results, which are printed when she inserts my card.

Returning to the third floor and back to the not so private doctors room, and another line.  Alice is listening to the sick people in front of me, turning to translate their woes.  My turn, back to the old familiar stool, this time she writes all kinds of chicken scratch in my booklet that Alice got for me.  Chinese doctors write as bad as American doctors, one thing in common.   She has read my blood report and I have a bacterial infection, the flu or something.  I will need a round of  antibiotics, aspirin and cough syrup.  Diagnosed and down to the first floor where the pharmacy is located.  Hand my prescription to another white coated personal and with in minutes, I hear “su-san, su-san’  It’s my name, I can understand Chinese!  I get my prescriptions and out to pay.  Another queue and 130 RMB, cheap…. Lets go home and too bed.

Socialized medicine in China…. Obama come check it out!

Cloudy Daze

Clouds

I love clouds.  They are a metaphor for the manifestations in my life.

Clouds remind me of life.  They are temporal, ephemeral, aways drifting and changing driven by the wind the energy of life.    They can be misty or snowy.  On a rainy day cry me a cloud full.  The ideas they carry can float away or appear and stay.  Clouds are never the same always changing.  A fine mist-like cloud can cover up a mountain and hide information, then dissolve and reveal the beauty within.  I like the idea of a cloud being an incognito veil  and the veil is blown off at different times to reveal new insights.

This is the entrance to the pagoda on the hill out my window.

It’s clear today.  Misty cloudy mornings hide it’s colorful beauty.  On a clear day, like today you can see to the Yangtze river and the bridge beyond.   At night the pagoda is lit up.  Green and red fireworks are exploding in the night sky next to the temple. I love this pagoda anytime day, night, in the fog, mist, rain, snow or sunshine.

Words of wisdom:  Find something you love!

I love looking at the pagoda, writing philosophy and taking pictures.

Did you know it all comes together, if we let it?  Thinking about it long enough will make it appear.  What would we like to manifest?  Contemplate our desires, then sit them on a distant mountain in the morning mist with clouds wafting around the entirety of our ideas.  Life is like this pagoda atop the hill, looming on the horizon, ideas percolating about to appear in our life, right before our eyes.   It might be concealed by a cloud.  Take notice as the clouds dissipate, part and dreams are lifted into reality.

My new life is  there on the moutain, in the mist, in the clouds waiting to appear.

One day the wind will blow, the clouds will move and there you will be.  You are there I just haven’t seen you yet.

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Auld Lang Syne – The Burning Bowl Process

Happy New Years from my roof top.

New Years Eve is the time to purge your 2010 unpleasant happenings.  Easiest way is to create a “burning bowl ceremony.”  Start with a small sheet of paper.  List the old stuff you want to release and cleanse from your life and mind.  Spend some time as you recall these old thoughts.  Soon you will  free them into the Universe and transmute them into the light.  Ignite your paper and throw it in a bowl and watch all those bad moments burn up in a blaze of fire.  Be careful and don’t burn your fingers!   Take a big sheet of paper and write all the good things you want to attract to your life to replace the old things you just released for the new year.  Fold it, put it in an envelope, seal it, and write “Do not open until July 1, 2011”.   Then in six months open it and check your progress.

Happy New Years from the most beautiful roof top in the world, Nanjing China.

Love to all!

New Year 2011

A new dawn, a new day, a new year!

A new year is upon us and I am ever so glad.  2010 was the worst year ever, starting  last New Year’s eve in the hospital emergency room with Randy, Mom, Ruth Ann and Jeff.  Mom was taken by ambulance from the car dealership where she slipped and fell.  Randy drove her on that icy afternoon to win a car instead she won five dollars. When I walked in the ER, I noticed  Jeff had his arm wrapped in a sling. He had been in a car accident earlier that day.   As he explained some crazy woman ran into his car pretty much totaling it.   The impact popped his driver side air bag which exploded and  burnt his arm.  My day was not much better as I elucidated.  I had asked Kyle to move out after all his shenanigans with alcoholism.  The five of us just looked at each other in amazement and actually laughed in relief that we were all okay.  What a day!

Instead of New Years Resolutions, this is my year of “reverse process.”   This is how I am reversing my need to fix others and just fix me.  My list as follows.

  • Cook whatever I want
  • Wash only my laundry
  • Clean up whenever or just hire a maid
  • Watch TV in bed with popcorn or chocolate
  • Late at night look out my balcony, see the city lights, moon, firecrackers, and smile
  • Ride my bike even in the snow
  • Eat what I like or just eat out every day
  • Maybe exercise or maybe NOT
  • Have a drink on special occasions
  • Enjoy organizing anything at anytime, (art, books, jewelry, closet, kitchen cabinets, DVDS, shoes, bills)
  • Drink fresh fruit juice from my juicer every morning
  • Write a blog
  • Take photos, put in the blog
  • Find Temples. Get a Buddha or 2, or 3 or 4.  Remember there is a “little Buddha” in every one.  Give Buddha’s away!
  • Listen to my self
  • Don’t forget:  Think smart!
  • Continue thinking smart and blog good philosophy
  • Be spiritual, pray and look for the light in everyone
  • When the bad stuff bothers me just put a blazing flame around it and send it away

Let the fixing commence!

You are the “Trinity” at Christmas

A good life.

A good soul.

A good person.

These three qualities of a blessed human being creates your “Trinity.”

These three things should sum up one’s existence?  Where ever you are, think about the blessings in your life.  Add them up on this lovely Christmas day.  When we define the word good, we find the definition to be one that is morally excellent,virtuous, righteous, pious and sincere.  Did you know the word ‘good’ had such a saintly definition?  I did not!

So what are your good works?  Think seriously for a moment.  What have you done that is excellent or what do you consider to be your good deeds?  Can you make a list of five?

My children top my most creative good works!  The whole thought of my children, brings a twinkle to my eyes, a big smile and laughter to my face.  Then a few tears puddle in my eyes when I think of Andy!  He was the most joyous, crazy son ever!  That red hair, those sparkling green eyes made a presence when he would walk into a room.  He would give you a good solid hug.  Then as tears roll down my cheeks I remember all the mischief he created, the trouble he would get in, things he would break, bills he wouldn’t pay, a call to bail him out of jail and the hell he gave us all.  Then I smile, wipe the tears away and think, what a life he lead.  A passionate life full of adventure, friends and family.  He was devoted to his family and loved us all no matter what!  That is one huge blessing in my life.

Casey is my second son, a handsome tall blue eyed man.  Devoted to family, his girlfriend Sarah and his job in California, he is a man of compassion, kindness and a bit of dry humor like his grandpa Fred.  He is reliable, responsible and just darn sweet.  Randy the third son, is the one I will say never had an argument with me his entire life.  I do remember him getting mad at Andy and ramming his fist into a window over something Andy did to him.  That cost him some stitches.  Randy is the forgetful one, can’t seem to remember where he puts things.  I told him once I would take him to a hypnotist to see if they could plant a thought to remember!  Reliable, devoted, wonderfully kind and generous he created this blog and helps me with technology.  He loves to travel with Jess his girlfriend.

Lastly, but not the least is Samantha, my beautiful daughter who loves horses, ferrets and cocker spaniels.  She has a mind of her own and sometimes takes over mine and Chris’!  We let her have her way, cause we know if we don’t….!  Chris is her emotionally secure husband, like a rock.  They photograph the funniest pictures of jumping at every location they visit.  They need to publish a book of their traveling jumps and sell it.

Creating traditions are part of our family.  We spend holidays, vacations and good times together in person or on Skype.  We are there for each other, we love each other and need each other.  Christmas is our favorite time together, with stockings full of walnuts, thanks to grandpa Fred for that one!  We all love lots of presents, times together and pies, whether it be paper sack apple pie (grandma Dortha’s recipe), pecan, pumpkin or Casey’s favorite cherry cheese cake.  Family traditions are something everyone should create.   I started a book of Santa pictures when the children were little and still collect recent pictures of the them with Santa.  My theory is if you don’t believe in Santa, then you won’t get gifts at Christmas, so you better believe!

Christmas 2010 in China

Christmas dinner at the Parkview Dingshan with the IB faculty.

Peter and Michael, the men in my life.  These guys keep me sane!  They are my best friends.

A Vienna Latte at the mall with colleagues on Christmas eve.

Christmas dinner with my friends, Armando, Gina, Santa Peter and me.  The rabbits are the symbol for the Chinese New Year.